Monday, 20 August 2012

Frog in Pot

21 Aug 2012, Tuesday, 2:09pm

The spur of this moment led me to pen my thoughts, AND the discussion with a peer over watsapp.

For a long long long long time, there was inertia in me. I know I got into this business to touch lives. And I told myself the need to act fast and 'save lives'. Still, I took my time with things, and people. This morning, I revisited the fact that the current place I am staying in is getting too crowded. Issues start to arise, people start to find excuses, can't see eye-to-eye, etc.

So I asked RT for advice. He stays in rented flat, along with some other tenants. On how to source for rented flats, what are the things to look out for, how much it may cost, his reply made me understand why he is always early to arrive in the office, and stays till 11pm on most nights. Returning home is merely for a shower and sleep. The routine repeats at dawn. Going home for him is nothing like how it means for most of us- to unwind, watch TV programmes, talk to family members, whip up a meal, etc.

Not so much about him anyway, more the fact that I may adopt his routine soon. To rent a place and move out. This, needs money. Now, I have a compelling reason to work my butt off. And on butt, RT shared his analogy of me sitting in my comfort zone for far too long. This is what I like about peer pressure, and how my friends are my eyes and ears, giving me their two cents worth when I need them.

Just two days ago, over dinner, I mentioned to RT that I don't need a lot of money and am generally happy with how things panned out for me so far. I have a roof over my head, don't need to spend much, don't mind home-cooked food and think there is enough money to spend. But this morning, the tide changed. I need my own roof! And to get it, some fundraising is needed.

"Imagine a pot with room temperature water and a frog inside, and very very small fire is burning the pot.....The frog sits in the water inside this pot, feeling nothing and is very comfortable...and don't see the urgency to jump out. You know what happens an hour later. YOU are the frog. :P"

"Burnt ass?", I asked.

"Yep, burnt ass in 30 mins, cooked frog in an hour."

"Thanks for the reminder and 'saving my ass', so to speak."

"It's a frog without brain then- bimbo frog." I retorted.

"You mean yourself? :P No urgency mah," RT.

"No, to get into the pot...for what???!"

"We get into life traps's whether we wake up and get out of it or not, or find ourselves dead. Someone catches that frog to cook, so it is in a life trap. Some frogs jump out, some have no urgency because they cannot feel anything. Coz the fire is small and slow. Fire, is time. Fire, is our age." RT explained.

"You have been in the water far too's getting too warm, or even hot. Jump out at 2:30pm 21 Aug 2012 :P"

":)Yes sir!"

At 2:46pm, I made up my mind to jump out, despite 16mins later than "the jump out time" RT had proposed, the reminder is set and I took pictures of the words he watsapp-ed. Lest I forget.

~"Do. Or Do Not. There is no Try."- Master Yoda.~

Thursday, 12 July 2012

Let's go + let go.

12 July 2012   12:54am
Stealing time from exam prep. Hell! It's the time to get tested, again.
The stomach flu is not helping at all. Think positive, positive, +ve...
The target board stares back, there are so many goals set, and it seems I haven't put my heart into accomplishing any. Ok, I did purge some old clothes and bags of old newspaper clippings and magazines, put the clippings to good use by passing ideas to my brother for his next career move (I'm a little excited about his choice, and I am sure he will succeed). Packed a whole stack of books for reading up after the exams. I am accountable for clearing the exams, need to keep reminding myself. Had a wake up call on Monday. S reminded me about "beliefs, what and why" we joined this career.

I have forgotten my beliefs. They slipped to the back of my mind, parked there for so long. I sat and waited for paradigm shift to happen, knowingly it won't happen without action. And "successful people are successful because they took a lot of actions". Where did my actions go? I gave others too much attention. Neglected my needs and wants. *Reminded of 'One Minute for Yourself'. How can I make this situation better for myself? MYOB.

Going cold turkey with my social activities. Stopped taking the proactive approach in asking friends out for meet ups. Some of such meetings are time-robbers. Have to put an economic value for now, to where I park time. This means Project REL1 is put on hold. Sometimes breaking away helps to put things in perspective. You see things larger and farther by taking a step back. So ok, one week for a start. Need some self control. The world turns with or without me, let me remind myself. Those damsels in distress can help themselves, or wait for others to stand in and help them. While I desperately help myself.

*Sneeze!* Bad sign. Somebody said someone is thinking/ missing you when you sneeze. I like to indulge in the romantic thought that someone is missing me, well, actually it is just the onset of a terrible flu in my case! Hopefully I will recover before Sunday's run.

I need sleep. Will be dead meat at Friday's exam...think positive, think +ve....Om~

Friday, 1 June 2012

2:27am, 17 May 2012

First post for this year. Much has happened. The opposite is true for some areas in my life. I am mentally exhausted, but I need to press on. Someone said This is THE year. And I told someone "THIS, is THE YEAR. Not sure if regurgitating what happened so far will make any difference, and it is pretty pointless? What has happened, had. What hasn't, well, is the things worth a look out for. The next 10 days are definitely worth looking out. Afterall it has been 8 years since I visited that part of the country. G'day! Flinders Street Station! I remember the florist at this train station. Not the person selling flowers, but the stall. It is a nice space to walk pass in the morning.

Eight years ago, I went there on a somewhat timely getaway with A. We talked about taking a trip after having worked a few years and accumulated some money for globetrotting. That was the time I received the sms from L that he was getting married. I was zombified, I wrote him e-mails. He told me to be strong, get on with life. Most vividly, "Take in the cold and take care of yourself." He knew I love to travel and we went on several trips together. At that point, I was so determined to live life to the fullest, even without him by my side. So now eight years have passed, I almost forgot if I kept my determination to live a fulfilling life. I guess I did, somewhat, if not fervently, at least I have made it a point to try new things, meet new people, treasure friendships and harnessed resilience. Yes, to be resilient and bounce back quick enough. No time to waste on things that didn't really matter, or people. Those who are 'not meant to be', my fingers opened one by one and let them slipped away. Then there are those I have never gripped in the first place. They just slipped away on their own.

The recent months have set me thinking a lot. Really, not exaggerating- perhaps many times more than the last 3 years put together. My thoughts were there in the head, but there was little time or energy to set the thinking wheel turning, and churning ideas. Not that I have slightly more time, the thoughts flew! Having consecutive thoughts, one after another, and thoughts running in series, sometimes overlapping each dream.

Monday, 19 March 2012

I think about this blog every now and then. Especially when I read what others wrote. Many write beautifully, used bombastic words and easily draws a crowd quickly. Oops! Blogger's block. Cannot think, needs sleep. Again, tomorrow. Later.